Saturday, May 2, 2009

For my boy !!

This one is for my boy. The boy who is my best friend, confidante, fun mate, support system, guide and my love. Yes, my love. Something we both shy away from saying. We rather refer to each other as best friends, which we are. I because of the embarassment and he because of the fact that he does not believe in romantic relationship.

I had never known that I would know love in such a form. Something which like sunlight. nurtures you everyday, becomes the core of your living. Something which just flows alongside your life and soaks you to the core just when you need it. Something which becomes life itself. I have seen passion. I have known passion. And I believe in passion. And I believe that lucky are those who get to experience it. (My boy says he is unlucky coz he never got to experience it, though I don't agree with him :) ). But I also believe that luckier are those who know and get love as I have known and got it. This kind of love is just so much rarer. There is so much that I have to thank you for, dear :). And i love and admire you so much more than I ever tell.

There have been much better pictures of us taken at our engagement. But this one is special to me. This is the only one which had captured the moment when we both had truly connected. The rest of the ceremony I don't remember much. It had all passed in a haze. I saw some videos later and realised that you had perhaps enjoyed much more than I did. I was too tense to enjoy it, or even observe it. Strangely I din't even remember how the ring ceremony had happened. Its only after I saw the videos that I remembered some of the stuff. :) . The fact that there ws a confusion on where who would stand. The confusion over who is supposed to wear the ring first. The fact that i has asked my mami "kisko ring pehnana hai pehle". That your shoe had got stolen. Nothing. All i remember are the things that I spoke to you. The fact that you had made me wear the ring ulta and had offered to straighten it afterwards. :) . And somehow the function meant very little for me. It was a custom that I followed true. I was happy seeing everyone happy true. The pics and videos intruiged me later true. But as a day, as an event it had mattered so little for my feelings. What mattered was that I was able to meet your parents( This time for a longer duration ..lol). That I was able to connect with Didi and Pihu. That the next day, when I came to the hotel to see Didi off, and you were the first person I saw, and you didn't pay me attention and went out of the room for work, it felt fine. It felt like everyday. Like we were a couple. That when after dropping Didi when i went off, when you had got down to get to hotel, and I turned back from the car, you were still looking. :) .

I know at times you feel I take you for granted. Which is true. At times I do take you for granted. Like sometimes I take the sunshine for granted. But I still know in my bones that you make the core of my life. There was a quote in Boston Legal by Allan Shore - "In every relationship there is one who loves more" . I had thought a lot about it. And I know in our case, its you. I have wondered why is that. Because you are the person who is more loveable. You are the person who makes friends whereever you go. You are the person whom everyone comes for advise or a dash of fun. You are the one who has the capability to handle every situation perfectly. You are the one with the most courage, truth and understanding. You are the one who is loved more. And yet in our case it is you who loves more. :). If I sit down and think, I perhaps cannot even find the reasons for being loved like this. :) .

There are a lot of things I cannot thank God enough for. You, dear boy, are quite on the top of the list. :) . Though coming to think of it, you might actually hate this post for the amount of mushiness it contains :D

4 comments:

AKS said...

:) Thanks for the piece. Something I thought that I deserved a lot earlier, especially coz u are not at all appreciative, either in words or by action, about me :P .

This piece really means a lot to me and felt really good after reading it. A feeling that had been remote in the last month or so. I never felt bad but never felt good either as such coz of all the things I was surrounded with.

About going to the other room for work, it was more to show my anger than for being just another day. It wasn't a "just another day" for me. Not because of the engagement but because it was going to be the last day that had the possibility of me being near u before I leave on my very long vacation. And especially after the last night's tremendous connection between us where u satisfied my desire to be in ur company by being with me and talking to me for so long, my love on u was increasing exponentially. Yeah yeah, i understand u had been told by mami not to talk to me on stage. After all, samaj is what we did everything for. and at a given point of time, there can be only one party who can remain happy - either the samaj or us. i am 100% sure there was no way to accomodate both the parties.

and about looking at u when u turned back, yeah, i always do that. and even though i was angry like anything (which i still am), i still wanted to have one last look at u for as long as i could coz i had a feeling ki that look might be the last look i can have before i get married to u. unfortunately u proved me right by not coming to the station to see me off. :) . yeah sony, i understand. u couldn't have made it. between the two of us, i am the brave one and whatever not. so, i guess i will have to take it and accept it. but .......... khair chhodo. don't know what else to say.

even with all my anger and frustration and what not, a big big thank you for this post. and yeah, I love you. and i never shy away from saying it or accepting it. just that i still feel that friendship is a far far stronger bond than what love is. and i am really thankful to god (if he or she exists) that I got a friend in u who might not express herself or might not have the "intelligence" to be by my side sometimes when i want it but don't ask for it; but who is the best friend i have and to whom i don't have to even blink before being my ugliest self. Thanks for understanding me and being what u are. If not for u, i would have to deal with a lot more issues than i do now. And well, just thanks........

And to end it, let me write it once again. I guess i say it much more than I should, but after seeing ur pics I just feel a very strong urge to say it to u always. You are gorgeous. absolutely beautiful. and am not saying it after seeing the latest pics that u are sending now but just the ones u sent earlier in the day :) . Chalo, bbye and thanks for this lovely gift again.

beetle said...

all is said ...and much more than words ...ppl apart from will get meaning of the words...and the rest will be felt by you ppll

guys....all i know is i love u both .....and i rarely say it...may GOD bless you both with all the eternity and happiness..

Unknown said...

I know am not the best guy to talk about all this and in the list of urs i should be the last guy to talk to about love and stuff... but still i would say.. you two mean a lot to me and when things started happening between you 2 i was soo very happy.. and now the first step has been taken for ur long life commitment.. and things will be just fine from now.. a big congrats to u 2.. i wish i could have been thr... missing best frnds' anything hurts.. but alas. Good luck for future.. and amit try ur best to come back to india.. for u dont want to miss the good moments before marriage.. try hard.. the blog was mushy but i liked it.. people rarely talk thr heart out.. this was one of them.. i dont wht amit was angry for.. but this blog would have made him felt really special.

Kartik said...

Good luck with your future life! In some weird way, you remind me of my late mum. :). Have a blesed life.