Going back to the fairytale ..

In the fairytales , there is always a fairy :)
And sometimes there are fairies without fairytales :)

At times they come in the form of a smile,
At times in the form of a gossip shared ... lol
And at times in the form of a dream told :)

And sometimes, u just turn towards the girl walking beside u , and she turns into one ..

This post is for the one person who has touched my life in a very short span of time. A girl who has made my life so much more colorful by all her dreams and all her enthusiasm. In this competetive world, finding brilliant, driven, versatile people is not so tough. Tough is finding people who love and who laugh, who pause and who care :) . Who can retain the child in them inspite of all the harshness, competition and rush towards them.

And thats why, i cherish her. And thatswhy i consider her as my little fairy. For all the things she unknowingly gave me and taught me :). And thats A for u :) ..

P.S:- This post is not as good as it cld have been :((.

A ray, a hope , a dream , a sky , a smile and everything else :)

Some words that i loved ..
which doesn belong to me and yet it does :) ....


Through the sky
flies a ray

captures ur mind
makes it sway

u think for once
do i wanna fly?

do i wanna go high,
and then just dive?

do i wanna feel the rush?
do i wanna hear my blood gush?

u get hold of urself,
get back to reality

look towards the sky,
smile, look down and walk ur way.

..... And
those were the words of my friend

The bubble ..

This moment in space
.............goes by just like that ....
Yet there is a bubble
.............that stays alive ....
And often
.............u find ur life inside ...
And u watch it
............ to look into the life ..
And everything
........... seems to be distorted ...
And then the bubble bursts
............ it leaves a vaccum ..
A vaccum
............ where ur life was ...
And another moment in space
............. goes by just like that ....
And this time
............. the bubble is you ...

shaadi ka ladoo ...

I have again come on to the platform where marriage has turned into a scary rather than a joyous thing .. When u hear stories abt a 10 year of relationship turning sour after marriage, and stories which u thinnk cld happen only in Ekta kapoor's soaps, it makes the hair at the back of ur neck stand .. and screws up ur "marriage is beautiful" thinking genes :D ...

Have u seen shrek 3 ? U ought to see the Shrek's dream of children when his Mrs. Shrek informs him that she is pregnant .. :) .. I am very likely on the verge of seeing such dreams .. hmmm, and maybe dreams in which all the prospective guys wld be standing across my home's territory and trying to enter my house and the 'poor yet smart me' wld have the full burden of saving my house (which by the way wld denote my independence ..:D ) .. and the i'll turn into the Home Alone's baby ..

Have i ever told abt my dreams ?? lol , well that wld be a full blog in itself .. so that one is due on me ... Hmmm , abt the marriage thing .. A friend of mine has said that u shld not have expectations .. and after hearing all the stories, i was thinking ..." Oh my God .. i'll be happy even if i get a NORMAL human being ".. but then .. thinking of it now, how can i not have expectations ?? Life is so dull without imagination .. and dreams and expectations ..

But the problem is that all my dreams are only abt the bests and the goods .. I never think abt what i wld do if the worst comes .. like my friend asks me to .. hmmm , maybe i shld .. :) .. The mind game, as they say it .. But then its so difficult to predict what u wld actually do when faced by a tough situation .. after all i am also not as good as i think myself to be :) ..

Well , i wld hve to fight then as i usually do, isn it ?? :) ..

The nights ....

Okk .. So, i had a brilliant night :D. And before the escatsy of it vaporises, i wanna catch a small puff of it , and put it in here for diplay and safe keeping .. :)
So, i spent the night out - yes , the firstest ever time .. I spent the WHOLE night roaming on the roads of mumbai, seeing the lights, hearing the waves, and chatting with one of my closest friends and smiling and laughing at his silly jokes ... :) ..

So, here it is ... in memory of some of the most memorable nights i have had ...

1. Yes, this is what comes to my mind when i try to poke in for the long lying nights .. Staying awake for the whole night with my cousin M, chatting, telling him stories about me and my life -- and he would drowse in between , and i would still go on without realising that - and would get angry when i found that he had slept off .. scold him , and go on again ... lol . i wish i could talk like that now :) .. i really do .. i miss THAT me :) ..

2. Ummm , and dussehra night with one of my then closest friends, P , in class Xth. Oh, man was she lively .. khair , that night both our families had decided to go see the durga idols , and since the city remained too crowded in the evenings, we had decided to go at night.. And both of we two girls, spent the night seeing the diff kind of idols .. ;) .. That was my first experience of ogling at guys ... ha ha :D .

3. Ummm , and well , in the college , most of the nights had been amazing .. But there are few that i rememeber the most - like the night when we had tried getting drunk for the first time .. our whole grp - a coupla days before we were to leave college .. and we had got this bottle of vodka sneaked in from a friend , and a big bottle of sprite .. and chips , and cakes .. and every one of excited .. I was trying to be a heroine, and wanted to have a sip of "neat" vodka .. and i did .. and i threw up .. and i din touch that again .. and since then formed my strong desire to be stone drunk .. lol .. but more abt that later .. hmmm , and the night unfolded , unwinding many more things, many secrets coming out .. some complaints flowing .. lots of sentiments flowing .. and right now , i don even remember if we ever slept that night .. :)

4. Then there was this night, in the first year of college - in between the exams, when all of us were new to each other - and somehow we started talking , all our secrets pouring out - and by morning, all of us were much closer .. my first experience of the hostel nights .. and the close bonds that formed in the later years :)

5. And so many more nights .. when i first went for a date .. when i stayed up roaming at the beach till 1 in the night .. talking and walking .. lol .. okk , just to clarify , these were two diff nights.. on the first night we went to a restaurant .. and oh , it was raining hard .. and we went to this glass restaurant, and i had the mmost amazing veg starter there .. :) .. on the second night , i returned with dreamy eyes .. and told my roommate that i din ever want to get married .. and just stay single and have lots of dates ...lol ..

6. Hmmm , then there are those nights of which i would not speak abt here .... :) .. And the adventure of it, oh .. ha ha ha .. u can get as many ideas as u want .. ;)

7. Oh and how can i forget the night when i did get stone drunk ... and danced like a drunk .. lol .. and looked like a 'not-so-good-girl' ( ;) ), or so my friend said .. lol .. Oh, that night was some night ... lol ..

And then there was yesterday's night .. when i was just happy to feel the wind on my face, and the coolness of the air , and the lights of the city, and the warm assurance of being with a friend .. and the next morning i felt so blessed to have these coupla friends who pampered me to this extent :) ... Oh yes , and i guess i was a lil wiser the next morning :)

A Rant ..

The gardens are prettty and the sun is warm ...
The cookies are smoky and the music in the barn ...

My world is not so shiny and warm now
So making up for it in the imagery ..

Taking 9 rejections in a row is not easy, and i am trying to breathe thru it.. but its slowly taking a toll .. though i don want it to ... i know there is much more to go ahead .. i want to not care .. and as much as i hate to admit , i am giving in to peer pressure. I do not feel as confident as i did earlier , but i am trying .. And perhaps fairing much better than the other people around .. well , atleast i pride myself on that ...

I am giving my friend a hard time , but so is he doing .. anyways , perhaps when it is done , i will feel remorse , or perhaps not .. I hate to feel remorse anymore .. i just feel like saying damn to people who ask me to feel remorse or to be sorry ..

I am a bitch when i am in a bad mood. My husband will have a tough time :). It amuses me now. I hope it amuses me then too. :)

I am strange in the way that i want things only when i do not have them. Once i have them, i do not love them anymore. Is it the same with all the other people ?? I wonder.. Hmmm ...

A noon's tale ...

dreaming a nightmare !!
waking up with a start !!
with a fast beating heart !!
and fingers clutched in a weird position !!
realising the nightmare was gone !!
still dazy !!
still thinking of the nightmare !!
sitting in front of the system !!
opening the orkut account !!
seeing a friend's request from a familiar name !!
identifying the name with a start !!
opening her profile with apprehension !!
and finding that it was indeed her !!
being flooded with memoryies without any notice!!
and left overwhelmed !!

Getting in touch with an old friend after a span of ten years . What more do i say ..
i love the surprises thrown by life :)