I was once a small town girl who had not stepped out of her small city(??) and lived on her parents' humble money, with few friends, very few dresses, negligible (no??) gadgets, nil boyfriends and disciplinarian parents ....
Yet life was cool .. Not great maybe, but cool .. I went to school/college everyday in high spirits, had fun with my friends, enjoyed few of the subjects, disliked few, played pranks, had discussions, gossiped, enjoyed the few TV programs on DD that I got to see, did my share of household work, fought with my brother, sometimes got irritated/angry with my parents, loved the songs of the few cassettes I had, tried to decorate(??) the house with old stuff, made something of the little I had .. and overall it was cool ..
And when I write it here, it might seem "COOL" (within brackets). However, it was not. It was filled with daily drudgery of life .. tension about money , domestic fights, fierce scoldings, share of beatings .. I guess a lot of it which is a part of many of the lower middle class households ... One day, I had a cousin of a friend come down from Bombay ( Oh yeah, I will stick to Bombay .. let Raj Thackrey be damned) , and she has such an aura, that I became tongue tied. She was smart, outgoing with "THE" attitude. And that day I saw the dream of being that girl and going to the world where she came from. Of living in Bombay, being independent, becoming smart. earning big money, having an identity, a "COOL" life, which I thought I so lacked in the small city. A place which I so desperately wanted to get away from.
And yes, step by step, I got all of it. However, I cannot say with certainty that my life now is cooler/better than my older life. Yes, I gained lots of things. I gained worldly wisdom, I gained confidence, I gained money, independence and a career. But I also lost many things. My naivety, my openness, my sense of imagination, and my romantic journey through exotic dreams. :). I am sure had my life turned out to be different, had I turned out to be one who gets married after graduation, whose life was more involved in trying different dishes, decorating the house, raising the children, gardening and gossiping with neighbors, I would have still lived a pretty cool life. And yet, I would have felt jealous if I met an old friend who would have followed the life that I currently have. I would have wondered and mused about it.
No, it is not a post about the domestic vs working mothers/wives or anything. It is about the perception of "the cool life" that is being created by media. Like the perception of "tall-fair-thin" for beauty, is the perception of life being changed to "knows his calling- is beautiful - has got love of the life". It is a terrifying idea actually. The idea which breeds high level of dissatisfaction and incontent . Just like the idea of beauty has among the female folks. Today women are running over the idea of beautiful ..Trying many many beauty products for fairness, dieting till the health goes awry , and generally running into depression because of it. It just makes an average looking girl feel like a failure. Though she is not. She is just not into the top 1% of beautiful girls.
So will the idea of having a perfect life ruin it for the youth. That being an average and not discovering the calling of your life bad enough to question yourself or your life. Whatever happened to the wonderful idea of leading a normal everyday life and yet finding humor and joy in your days and your friends. Of not being excellent at playing cricket and yet playing it just for the heck of it. Is life really supposed to be a motivational run. Where you drive for excellence. Is the aim of your life supposed to just being able to find the choice of your occupation? Can the aim not be to just earn a good living so that you can enjoy travelling to various places which you like so much. Can the aim not be to make the best of everything that you have got. Can the aim not be to just being plain happy.
Personally, I think it is just fine to not have a motivation or a calling. As long as you can enjoy the good old life. As long as you can make friends. Make the most of your tit bits. And keep your heart open enough to love. God did not invent "career/motivation" when he built the world. He built families, friends, games,nature and days and nights. As long as you have your heart in them, I think you are doing pretty fine. But then, I have yet to imbibe my philosophy... so long :)
